you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Less talking, more tequila
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
