bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize