Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I bet he comes in French.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
