lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
