My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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