Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
And the cops told us we were all naked.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
