new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
