I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
is wine microwaveable?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
