He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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