It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize