dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
