tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
