He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You've changed since you got that strap on
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
