We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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