We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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