Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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