3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
