Cold hands, warm shart.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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