Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
