He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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