Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize