I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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