I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
organizing the empties. That sober.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
