The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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