my mouth tastes like poor choices
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have aggressive nipples.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
COCAINE IS GR8
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
