I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
