i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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