is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
