Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
