My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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