Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
