I should be sponsored by Trojan
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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