i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
well you can't waste a boner
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
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