dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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