At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
