somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
