don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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