So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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