i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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