she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
