You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
