did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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