You're earring is so big in my mouth
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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