life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
