Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
