can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
