if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I looked at my own cervix.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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