everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize