I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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