dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
