Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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