I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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