Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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