Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize