So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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