I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He passed out mid-signature
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
