thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
