Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize