she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
