so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
