you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
