if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
This is the high leading the old right now
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
