so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
