A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
