The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
