i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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