Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
