Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
