Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
