Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Another day, another engagement, another cat
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize