Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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