Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
