He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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