You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize