Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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